5 signs that you’re finally becoming more secure with who you are
I like this posting by Lark Morrigon. It is a good read.
1. You worry less about how people in your life view your choices, beliefs, ideas, the way you explain your thoughts, and the way you express your feelings. You speak when you feel compelled to, but you also understand that it’s okay not to argue with people who don’t want to listen to you with respect.
2. You don’t make an attempt to show off your accomplishments or overemphasize how great you think you are. However, you also don’t downplay your success, speak of your work in a self-deprecating way, or discredit yourself. When given the opportunity to talk about what your work is all about, you just say what you’ve done, how you did it, what you learned, and what you look forward to accomplishing, without making yourself seem like you’re better or worse than others.
3. You don’t use money as a measure of success. Rather, you see money for what it really is — a tool that can be used for either bettering yourself or destroying yourself. You choose to use money to better yourself and this involves buying fewer items that actually contribute to your life and helps you grow closer towards achieving your long-term goals.
4. You know you don’t have to keep up with the semblance of being more intellectual or sophisticated than you really are because you know it’s downright pretentious and arrogant to claim that you only like things that high-minded and scholarly individuals like. You allow yourself to enjoy what you are genuinely interested in, regardless of its reputation.
5. You understand that you can still enjoy your life and disconnect from the world and not feel guilty for it. You don’t punish yourself for taking some time off from the endless turmoil and strife that keeps compounding each day.
6. You don’t lash out at people who have views that are different from yours (though at times, you may feel like doing so). Even when you like to speak out against oppression and want to the world to change for people who aren’t given chances in life, you understand that not everyone is going to be on your side and that some people are just dead set in their old mindset and there’s nothing you can do about it.
7. You don’t force yourself to be more charitable or righteous than you really are or show off how much you’ve helped others. Rather, anything charitable you do isn’t broadcasted on social media, and you don’t try to make a vain show out of your works of charity. You simply give out of the joy of your heart, no matter how big or small it may be, and you don’t guilt-trip yourself for not doing enough in comparison to those who may seem like they’re more active and selfless than you are.
8. You restrain yourself from overreacting with anger. You aren’t as easily provoked as you used to be because you know that suffering and pain are inevitable and that you are going to experience some dark times in your life. You’ve grown more powerful than your feelings and you’re able to control how you react to things you don’t like.
9. You know that being strong doesn’t mean you’re always putting up a cold and tough front. You know that vulnerability is a display of courage and strength because you’re not afraid of showing the reality of being human and the inevitability of suffering. You also know that you’re strong because you’ve overcome problems in life that you used to worry so much about.
10. You’re able to reconcile acting upon your feelings and acting upon logic. Your strong intuition helps you decide which is the appropriate course of action based on whatever situation you’re in. You don’t pretend to be factual and logical all the time, yet you also don’t allow your feelings to influence you to make rash decisions. You’re able to discern which feelings are helpful and which are harmful, and use logic to ground them in order to propel yourself forward in the most fitting and calculated manner possible.
11. You know that you are who you are is simply who you are, not an idea of who you are based on what people call you or label you as.
12. Whenever you lose a friend or connection, you don’t view those losses as responsible for diminishing your self-worth. You understand that it’s a natural part of life and that you’re growing closer to who you are, which not everyone will appreciate or value.
13. You don’t waste your time justifying your choices or actions to people that never thought highly of you or thought you were worth being loved in the first place. You don’t feel obligated to reason with them or give overly detailed explanations of why you’re not as directionless as they think you are. You simply travel along the path that you’ve created for yourself without slowing down to go over extraneous details that wouldn’t sway their opinion anyway.
14. You set high standards for yourself and continuously improve your own life, but you know that your inherent personality traits cannot be changed, and you fully embrace them, instead of whining about why you can’t be a certain way in order to be liked because you believe that your worth isn’t based on how well you pretend to have a common personality that seems to be more likeable than others.
15. You view your own life story as a progression and an extension of who you are. You reflect on how far you’ve come, how much you have today, and how much more you can attain in the future because of the potential you have within that is yet to be realized, manifested, and transformed into something that’s possible to create for yourself.